


Tell Me You Love This

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Unfinished, WIP, bookstore, richard siken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9445925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Raja is working at a bookstore that is going out of business. Manila wanders in one day and throws off Raja's whole world.





	

The bell above the shop rang out, but Raja didn’t raise her head. Instead choosing to focus on the words on the worn out pages, trying to decipher why exactly this character though it was a good idea to go back to her abusive ex boyfriend. Raja sighed at the unoriginal and disappointing book and closed it, in favor of inspecting the body that was now perusing through her shop. 

Raja could tell the girl was new. She was clearly younger than Raja, but how old exactly she couldn’t tell, though her expression along with her attire conveyed a sense of innocence and wonder. The girl was looking through the shelves in the SALE section, eyes slowly sliding down each book end, taking it all in. Raja found herself fascinated with her movements. The girl traced the spine of a book ever so delicately, as if it would disintegrate should she hold it too long. 

She flipped the pages with just as much, if not more grace. Raja felt almost as if she were interrupting something. It was strange and intimate and Raja had no idea how long she had been staring and thinking until she met the girl’s eyes. “Hey there. Can I help you with anything?”

The girl smiled “I’m just looking for a good book. Have you got any suggestions?”

Raja’s face lit up. “Of course!” Raja was reasonably excited. She had been working at this bookstore for three years now and no one had once asked her what books she would recommend. Raja started talking a mile a minute and pulling out books left and right. Some were classics, others had just come in, but all of them held a special place in Raja’s heart. She only realized the way she was acting when she was holding a pile of books so high that she couldn’t see properly, and almost ran into a bookshelf. A few of the books on the top of her gigantic pile fell on to the floor with a THUD. Raja winced at the sound and blushed brightly as the girl leaned over to pick them up. Raja placed her giant stack of books on the counter and turned to the girl. 

“Sorry. I get kind of excited sometimes.”

“No really?” The girl teased her.

Raja blushed, but recovered quickly as she turned to the pile and began talking about each book, giving a general summary and her overall opinions. Raja saw the girl nodding along and staring at each book with interest. She finally came to the last book in her pile, Raja hadn’t even noticed she had grabbed it, but she smiled when she saw the familiar worn down cover. 

“Is that one your book?”

Raja looked up suddenly, she had almost forgotten that there was someone else there. “What do you mean?”

The girl jumped up on the counter that the stack of books that Raja had gone through was sitting on. “Is that your book? Is it the book that just gets you?”

Raja was dumbstruck and just nodded.

The girl nodded and continued on, “I think we all have that book. I think that everyone who has ever loved literature has that ONE book. The one that makes absolute sense to them. It makes everything seem real and unreal at the same time. Its like your heart poured upon the pages and it is terrifying and wonderful and sad at the same time. You have such strong emotions and reactions to it and it becomes your book. Am I right?”

“How did you know?“

“It is the look in your eye. And the fact that it is the only book that you haven’t rushed to explain to me. It’s like that with my book too. We each love them so much that we simultaneously want, and don’t want anyone else to read them. Because those books are the most personal expressions of ourselves and that is fucking scary for anyone to have that kind of power over us.”

Raja was speechless. She had struggled for years to place exactly what that emotion was, and this girl had finally explained it in a way that made sense. She had no idea what to do or say so she stuck out her hand, “I’m Raja.”

The girl took her hand. “Manila.”

“I have never heard that before. It is beautiful.” You are beautiful. Raja thought.

Manila blushed and smiled. “Thank you. I love your name.” Manila looked away after she gave the compliment, and her eyes fell on a stack of books near the back of the store. She gasped suddenly and rushed over. “I had no idea this had come out yet! I love this author!” Raja followed her and glanced at the small paperback book Manila was holding in her hands. 

“This was in our newest shipment. I have been meaning to start organizing this pile.”

“Richard Siken is a genius and I have been dying to get my hands on his next book.”

“I haven’t ever heard of him. What has he written?”

Manila looked at the ground now, clearly embarrassed. “Don’t judge me.” Raja held her hands up in mock surrender. “He writes poetry.” Raja must have displayed some sort of emotion, what it was she wasn’t sure, but Manila immediately began explaining herself. “I know I know. Its lame I guess, but he just gets me you know?”

Raja plucked the book from Manila’s hands and she gave an indigent shout, but not before Raja flipped to a random page and began reading: “No one wants to know what’s in his head. It should be enough. To make something beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be.” 

As Raja’s eyes flew across the page, her words came out slower as she began processing what all she was saying. “Let’s kill something. The mind moves forward, the paint layers up: glop glop and shellac. I shovel the color into our faces, I shovel our faces into our faces. They look like me. I move them around. I prefer to blame others, it’s easier. King me.” Raja came to the end of the line and let out a breath she had been holding. She felt something rise in her chest that she couldn’t name. Raja looked up at Manila who was smiling at Raja’s no doubt, crazed expression.

“Yeah.” Manila says. “It tends to have that effect on people.” Manila walked over to a still speechless Raja and took the thin paperback out of her hands.

Raja moved slowly toward the register, still trying to make sense of what she had read. “17.50” She said without thinking.

Raja was only pulled out of her trance when she noticed Manila fumbling around in her bag, cursing under her breath. The younger girl looked up, flustered. “I don’t have enough with me right now. Could you maybe put it on hold for me?”

“Yes of course.” Raja grabbed a sticky note, stuck it to the front of the book, and after being corrected twice, wrote Manila’s name across it.

“Thank you. I’ll be back soon!” Manila’s hand was on the doorknob and she gave Raja a quick wave.

“I look forward to it.” Raja watched Manila’s figure walk out the door and she waved when Manila met her eyes through the big windows, located at the front of the shop.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Raja checked out some people and read some books from the newest shipment. Nothing as interesting as her meeting with Manila. Raja’s mind kept wandering to the young girl. Raja had felt so liberated after talking with Manila; she made a mental note to talk to her more the next time she came.

When 9:00 finally rolled around, Raja went and began to turn off the lights and flip the sign on the door. The bookshelves cast strange yet familiar shadows throughout the store. Raja always thought the store looked the most beautiful in darkness. She whispered a “Goodnight.” To the shelves. She knew it was stupid, but it had become a habit.

Raja approached the office in the back of the store. She was shocked to see someone sitting at the desk. “Hey Keith. I didn’t know you were still here.”

The man looked up. “Oh hey Raj. Yeah, I just got distracted.” He noticed the keys in Raja’s hands. “You closing up?”

“Yeah it’s a little early, but we weren’t terribly busy today.” 

“Oh ok.” Keith said, but made no move to get up.

“Is everything all right?”

Keith sighed and rubbed his temples. “Raj, you know you are like a daughter to me, and I can’t imagine my life without you right?”

Raja didn’t like the sound of this, but she nodded.

“There’s no beating around the bush here, the bookstore is going out of business. I’m sure you knew that already, seeing as you practically run this place, but I just thought I should tell you.”

Raja’s heart fell out of her chest. She had known they were struggling, they always had been, but they managed. For the three years she had worked at the shop they had always managed to scrape by. “Is there anything we can do? Maybe another sale? We haven’t had one in a while. Or we could host another book club.” Raja spit out as many ideas as she could, but the look on Keith’s face as she kept talking just got sadder and sadder. 

Raja finished her rant and Keith just shook his head. “I’m so sorry doll. I know you love this place as much as I do, probably even more.”

Raja felt tears prick the edges of her eyes but she shook her head and willed them away. Keith finally stood up and pulled her into his arms. She barely held it together.

When he pulled back he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You are a brilliant girl Raja. You are gonna do amazing things.”

His words echoed in her head as she locked the main door behind her, leaving the bookstore completely empty and pitch black.


End file.
